Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
