Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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