felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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