some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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