its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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