Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
