It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
