I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im holly from the hills drunk
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize