i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
