Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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