I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
