I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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