batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
