put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
