Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
should my penis look like a turkey
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
