So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He shit in the fireplace
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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