does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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