i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize