mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize