Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize