How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
