thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
