Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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