You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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