i wish my penis had a tongue
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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