i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
