Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
