Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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