I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
