I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
