Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize