She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
they're like a gay fantastic four
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
