I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize