we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
