I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I need to sanitize my soul.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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