are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
