i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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