I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
