would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
