yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
