I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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