I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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