Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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