Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
