You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
