Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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