Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We're using joints as your birthday candles
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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