so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
