Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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