is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
