Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
