Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
