I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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