Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
