I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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