At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
