Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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